So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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