He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
