Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
