There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
