home. puking in laundry basket.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
