I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
