weddingsv make me drug and hornr
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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