I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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