i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
