real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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