i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
