i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize