I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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