next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He better not be in your backpack
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
