i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
