He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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