bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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