the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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