Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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