i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
3pm strippers are depressing
whose ass print is on the piano?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
