Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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