is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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