NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
