Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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