I wannas sexs uuuuu
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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