I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
