I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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