Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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