He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
