So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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