when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
