I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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