Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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