How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize