It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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