sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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