those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
