Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
