I want to have your abortion
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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