Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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