she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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