I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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