you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
tell me about the fingering
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
