Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
