Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
