I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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