Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize