Dude i fell asleep inside of her
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.