Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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