at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
