paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
