Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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