My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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