whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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