it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
love makes seman taste better
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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